Pieces of a Puzzle
by zeurin
Summary: He truly believed that he could put the pieces of my shattered heart back together with the sheer strength of his love. He was wrong. I was broken. Not even Jasper and his emotion-manipulating powers could fix me. One-sided Leaper oneshot.


I love Jasper. I _absolutely_ love Leah and now, I'm afraid to admit, I've officially fallen for the crack pairing that is Leah/Jasper, or what I like to call it, Leaper. Yeah, I know this could never happen, but if it could, I don't think it'd be nice and happy with rainbows and baby Leapers. I think it'd be more one-sided. Depressing.

So, here's my first Leaper one shot. Enjoy! ;)

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His icy lips grazed over my neck and I jumped back in shock. It was colder than I had been expecting. I immediately began laughing at my own stupidity. _He's a freaking vampire, Leah! What'd you expect?!_ Laughing hysterically during potential sex was the biggest mood-killer ever, but he didn't seem to mind. Those strange light gold eyes were ravenous, frightening the shit out of me. I don't know if he wants to devour my body or actually _devour _me. It made me laugh harder.

He slowly ran a hand through my hair and I felt a wave of calm immediately surge through my body. My laughter died immediately. I could feel my stiff muscles relax and my heart rate drop. God, I sometimes I just _loved_ what he could do.

"You're nervous."

Duh. But there was no way I was owning up to it, even though uncontrollable laughter was a trademark of Leah-anxiety. "No, I'm not," I automatically protested.

Although he looked at me as though he was the big bad wolf and not the other way around, the gentleman inside kicked in, "You don't have to… do this." He was perfectly aware of my emotions, no matter how I denied it. He knew I was nervous, fearful, dreading, and overwhelmingly guilty. He knew this wasn't in my bucket list. He knew I wasn't ready. He knew everything, yet he'd continue if I gave him the ok. Why? Because as much of gentleman he was, he couldn't resist me. His strange infatuation with me was so overpowering that he couldn't resist, even if it was completely wrong and went against everything he believed in. He let me feel his emotions once. He regretted it. I kept crying for hours after. The intensity of his feelings was too similar to mine with Sam… _Sam_…

At the reminder of the bastard, I promptly went over and smashed my lips to the bloodsucker's. Unfortunately, the action bruised me more than him. I felt a rush of adrenaline and pleasure as his cold tongue brushed mine. So different from Sam. The complete opposite, actually. I grinned in pleasure and began moving my hands up his shirt. His surprised hiss of pleasure sent coolness down my neck. I'd be shocked if I didn't get frostbite by the end of the night. His icy, hard skin was nothing even remotely like Sam's. Why else do you think I agreed to do this? Well, of course, I didn't like him at first…

When we first met face to face, I was deadly. I was in wolf form when Sam decided to ask me to be a bridesmaid. I don't know why, but I snapped. He didn't do anything. He didn't defend himself or even try to talk me out of it. The bastard knew he deserved it. He just sat there and took it. I was _this _close to tearing his throat out when Jasper, conveniently hunting nearby, attacked me, breaking us up.

Since then, he would not leave me alone. It infuriated me at first, but then I realized the presence of Jasper also meant mind-numbing drugs. I was in pain, _always_ in pain, so how was I to turn down free painkillers? I should've known something was wrong. I should've known that the angry looks his little pixie wife shot me weren't just coincidence. I should've known better than to let it continue. And I was about to cut it off when Sam saw us together. He was so pissed that he transformed and tried to kill Jasper. Seeing the anger and jealousy in Sam, I began to _welcome _Jasper's presence.

He told me I made him feel alive. I wanted to tell him that he was a good pharmacist, but instead, I smiled and let him hold my hand. A week later, he kissed me. I wanted to rinse my mouth and tell him he smelled like a rotting bouquet of roses, but instead, I kissed back. An hour ago, he told me he loved me. I wanted to tell him that I didn't give one flying fuck about him and he was simply revenge against Sam, but instead, I let him love me. It was wrong. It was messed up. But he knew I didn't love him. He knew I couldn't feel anything after Sam. He knew all this, yet he foolishly believed that it didn't matter. That his love and my willingness was enough for the both of us. He truly believed that he could put the pieces of my shattered heart back together with the sheer strength of his love. He was wrong. Because this wasn't some jigsaw puzzle. The pieces of the puzzle ceased to exist. The pieces used to be in Sam's pocket until he emptied them for Emily's. I was broken. Not even Jasper and his emotion-manipulating powers could fix me.

I couldn't help but feel pleasure as he tangled his icy hands in my hair. It wasn't because his actions felt good. It was because Sam had played with my hair the same way. Sam would be furious if he knew that I was letting a vampire kiss the same lips reserved only for him a mere two years ago. That was the source for the pleasure I was feeling.

All my clothes were lying on the ground by the time I managed to undo every button on his shirt. He shrugged the garment off and pulled me off my feet, his lips still glued to mine, and our chests collided together. I couldn't help but wince and desperately wish to escape the icy block of ice I was pressed to. He didn't even notice as he lowered me down on the bed. For that, I was grateful. I didn't want him to know how completely repulsed I was.

As he pounded into me, I couldn't help but remember my naïve vows, only a few years ago, that I'd never let anyone but Sam touch me. Jasper was fifth guy after Sam to do the nasty.

I felt claustrophobic, like I was encased in a wall of ice. I fought the urge to break free and instead let him ravish my body. He was truly beautiful, all sharp angles, muscle, and perfection. I tried to concentrate on that instead of the nausea in the pit of my stomach. The rapacious look in those exquisite topaz eyes and the animalistic sounds tearing from the back of his throat was enough to make any girl explode with ecstasy. But I wasn't just any girl.

I suppose, if the circumstances were different, I could have fallen in love with him. Jasper's intelligent with centuries of wisdom, unbelievably stunning, considerate, fiercely protective, strong, a true gentleman, and he even gets my sense of humor, as hard to believe as that can be. I can imagine us living in a little country house in the south with a white picket fence and three dogs. I can imagine us snuggling together in bed, blissfully happy in each other's arms. I can imagine us laughing together and simply enjoying each other's presence for decades and decades to come. Unfortunately, Sam broke me. There was no way any of those things could happen between us, or anyone else, for that matter. I felt nothing.

Finally, he growled with pleasure and clenched my hips hard enough to bruise. A few seconds later, he collapsed on the bed, his breathing sharp and heavy. When he turned to look at me, I identified familiar pain in his eyes.

"You regret this." It wasn't a question. A mere statement of fact.

I flinched and bit my lip. Guilt flowed through me and I knew he felt it full blast. I refused to meet his eyes and instead stared at his pale shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jasper."

He didn't say anything for a long time. Not for the first time, I wished I had his power of reading emotions so I'd know if how he felt. Believe it or not, I didn't want to hurt him. He's a vampire and I should hate him for the thousands of lives he's taken, but I didn't. He loved me. I've been heartbroken once. I didn't want anyone else to ever experience that agony. Not even a human-killing leech. He deserved better, but he left better for me.

Finally, after what felt like hours, his unnaturally still body moved. I blinked in confusion as he wrapped his icy arms around me. I felt a pang of guilt that I just couldn't will away as he held me. He was forgiving me for my lack of response. His simple action told me that he knew I didn't love him, that I didn't even enjoy what just occurred between us, yet he didn't care. He was trying to hold on to me; make his love good enough for me never to leave. And so we laid there, both in denial. Jasper thought that eventually, somehow he would make this work. I knew that it could never and I was just pretending to be something I'm not. He gave up his perfect life for someone to just spit in his face. Because this couldn't work. I could never be that person. And as I laid there, only half conscious, with the only man who loved me curled around my body, I couldn't help but wonder which of us was going to crack first.

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So, that's it... If people like this enough, I might even post the multiple chapter Leaper story I'm writing. It's lighter, more humorous, and not angsty like this one. So... yeah. Flames are ignored. Reviews are highly cherished! ;)


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